002. TWILIGHT

This is a critique I wrote two years ago for my school newspaper. At the time, Twilight was at the pinnacle of its popularity; it was hard to find someone who publicly didn't like the books. Nowadays, I don't really go around ranting about the books; if you were to ask me about them, I'll give you my opinion, but at this point, it's kind of become a moot point. Regardless, here is my article. It's called 'Some Things Just Shouldn't Sparkle'.

Some Things Just Shouldn’t Sparkle

Four years ago, publically swooning over vampires would only get you a few odd stares and a suggested trip to the therapist’s office. Today, however, the book series Twilight  has swept through the nation and into the heart of teenage girls everywhere, reducing them to tears at the romanticizing of vampire Edward to his mortal girlfriend, Bella. However, not all of us have become ridiculous fan girls after reading the series; some of us didn’t think it was all that great.

Twilight  is all about a teenage girl, Bella, who moves in with her dad in the small town of Forks and in her new high school meets boy-of-her-dreams Edward. Only, there’s problem; he’s a vampire and she’s a human. While I’d like to say that this is the plot of the series, it’s debatable whether or not the series even has a plot, because of the fairly small amount of conflict. Of course, this lack of conflict probably stems from the flawlessness of the characters.

I commend Stephanie Meyer for trying to do away with the cliché image of vampires, but in this attempt, she also did away with their weaknesses. Every vampire is super strong, fast, beautiful, etc. And, come one, vampires that sparkle? That just speaks for itself.

None of the main characters have any flaws, which is a very big characteristic of poor writing. In fact, one of the main characters, Edward, is constantly described as “perfect and godlike”. His perfection is played to such an extreme I felt that he had no personality whatsoever. Bella, as well, is a character lacking any real flaws; in all honesty, clumsiness is not a character flaw. She is described as “plain” in the text, and yet she attracts flocks of boys on her first day of her new school. That just doesn’t happen. 

Furthermore, they constantly contradict themselves. While Edward and Bella are supposed to be extremely mature people, they handle their situations like children; I know four-year-olds that throw less fits. Both characters were simply created for wish fulfillment; they give sappy girls a taste of a perfect, but highly unrealistic, relationship. 

For this reason, the phenomenon has not only left a mark on girls, but on boys as well. Because the idea of a perfect boyfriend is set in their minds, girls are now having unrealistic expectations from their male counterparts. Sorry ladies, you’re not going to find a sweet, smart, lovely boy who sets your wellbeing as his first priority and also happens to look like a Greek god.

Now, don’t get me wrong, I’m as sappy as the next girl; I can enjoy a good romance story every now and then. However, Stephanie Meyer took all the fun out of the romance part. Bella and Edward fall in love in two days. Falling in love should take time, be sweet and awkward; it’s not something that’s rushed over a period of two days. Furthermore, I didn’t even understand why they fell in love in the first place; so, she smells nice and he’s cute. How is that love? The rest of the books then just focus on their relationship, and trying to convince everyone else that they should be together, when honestly, they really shouldn’t.

The concept of the story was, admittedly, cute at first, and the first book wasn’t all that bad. However, it should have been left at that. New Moon was comprised entirely of filler text, words just written to fill up empty space, and the last two were just disappointing. They were all redundant, constantly repeating things that were already described in fully detail (such as Bella’s noisy truck and Edward’s perfection), preachy, predictable, and were generally just badly written. 

While Twilight is honestly not the worst book series out there, if this is what is considered the pinnacle of writing in the 21^st century, then I fear for the future of American literature.